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Sure, Mary may be getting a pet. But me? I'm off to get a PET. The doctors are determined to find out why my brain makes me read this drivel.

—I'm Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
150

Live your life so Mary Worth never bold-face yells “AGE DIFFERENCE?” at you

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Dick Tracy, 2/26/26

The number of human beings who, over the past 18 months or so, have wondered to themselves if minor Dick Tracy villain Silver Nitrate is still having a hard time in prison can probably be counted on one hand, but I assume all those people read my blog and have only come to care because of my occasional efforts to bring the matter to their attention. So anyway, this plot update goes out to all of you Nitrate trufans: the Russians launched a drone attack on a Neo-Chicago prison in order to facilitate a mass jailbreak, and now Silver Nitrate is about to get extremely killed, by a machine gun.

Mary Worth, 2/26/26

“Oh, wow … just 32 and a widow already! You know, most young women don’t really have a sense of how long a man can live, and when they meet one who’s older than them they assume he’s got like 5 or 10 years left in him, tops. Anyway, good for her!”

Blondie, 2/26/26

“Blondie wants Dagwood to prove his humanity by displaying sexual interest in her, and Dagwood doesn’t care if Blondie is a robot or not so long as his dinner is made of real meat” is, uh. It’s a little on the nose, I think.

195

The guy she’s killing is definitely not an immediate threat, right? Like this one’s just for fun

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Herb and Jamaal, 2/25/26

I assumed those plewds were supposed to be sweat, but then Herb mentions “crying” in the last panel and that sets up a much funnier possibility, which is that they’re tears and he’s fully dissociated from himself, his body weeping openly due to stress and unexpected exertion but his mind managing to hold a coherent conversation for at least a few minutes, before he presumably shuts down entirely.

Judge Parker, 2/25/26

Not satisfied with all the people she killed in the massive explosion that heralded her arrival, April is now straight-up gutting a dude like a fish, right in front of her beloved, soft-handed husband. Weird how the awful last sound the guy will ever make is exactly the same one that Charlie Brown makes when he tries and fails to kick a football that Lucy is holding, honestly!

Luann, 2/25/26

This one could have been drawn to make it clear that Frank is chuckling ruefully over his unrealistic youthful fantasies and obviously realizes now that being a faithful husband and father is more rewarding than some burnout musician lifestyle. But that is not his facial expression at all. He still 100% wishes he was in a band and resents every single person in this room for holding him back.

221

The North of England was a Yorkist stronghold, not sure if that’s relevant

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Andy Capp, 2/24/26

Honestly, there’s just a lot to enjoy here in today’s Andy Capp. I like that Chalkie is taking the opportunity in the middle of the game to roast his teammate for deservedly getting beat up, and I like that the quizmaster is doing such a half-assed job that he just asked an open-ended “when” question about a series of interrelated conflicts that stretched intermittently over multiple phases over 16 years, or possibly 32 years. I love that we learn that the winner of this thing will take home cold, hard cash, which explains why Andy, not really known for his enthusiasm for intellectual pursuits but always short of beer money, is participating, and also means that, given that we know the questions have answers that will be easy to dispute, it may give rise to a further scrap tonight.

Mary Worth, 2/24/26

Look, I’m not saying that I have perfect gaydar, or that gaydar honed in the real world would be at all functional in the Mary Worth universe, but I do want to say that when a dapper elder gentleman with an ascot arrives in a new community and tells the local nosey women that he’s a widower, and then when he realizes that excuse has passed its expiration date blurts outs “I have a girlfriend named, uh, Trixie, but you wouldn’t know her, she goes to a different school” at their approach, there’s reason to believe he may be dissimulating to a certain extent.

Pluggers, 2/24/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because eventually you get to an age where you retire but just keeping your failing body alive feels like a full-time job! PLUGGERS!