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Gil Thorp, 2/16/26

What’s going on in Gil Thorp? I’m not talking about the day-to-day plot; I’m talking about the near-future background setting, where the heavily armed “New Milford” PD lacks a monopoly on legitimate violence and must negotiate with authorities in schools, which remain separate, self-governed jurisdictions like medieval European universities. I guess we should’ve known that we were dealing with a landscape where centralized constitutional government had broken down completely when it turned out that the local juvenile detention facility doubled as a gladiatorial combat arena.

Dick Tracy, 2/16/26

The “Dick is betrayed by his partner” Dick Tracy storyline has abruptly wrapped up, and now we’re going to smash cut to … the Donbas Front, I guess? Look, the West has been looking for ways to push Russian troops out of Ukraine for years now, and having Dick Tracy shoot them in the back for “resisting arrest” is certainly not the worst idea anyone has come up with.

Mary Worth, 2/16/26

Meanwhile, despite several opportunities, the “Toby and Ian get parrots” Mary Worth storyline has singularly failed to abruptly wrap up, and in fact we seem to have gotten stuck in a “Mary and Jeff enjoy a post-plotline-wrapup at the Bum Boat” loop. Jeff could’ve short-circuited this by choosing his pie “a la mode” as usual and then dying of a massive coronary event, so I guess, against all odds, he’s enjoying this experience, or at least prefers it to death.

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/15/26

You’d think I’d be happy to see a strip that eschews “someone wants to defy the laws of nature and have sex with a half-fish being” for “someone wants to obey the laws of nature and eat a half-fish being,” but sorry, I just don’t find it likely. Why would Atilla become fish-mad in the (literal) face of a being who is, in terms of the bits you usually interact with, mostly human, and yet ignore Ma Goose, who is 100% bird, albeit an anthropomorphized one? And sure, in real life a cat is far too small and a goose far too ornery for that conflict to go well for the cat, but these characters are roughly the same size so the power dynamic is different. You can make your silly fantasy comic setting increasingly convoluted and I will fight it every step of the way!

Luann, 2/15/26

Meanwhile, in Luann, everyone is fully human, yet nobody is acting like a normal human being. “I’m going to give my husband a gift card to a lingerie shop for Valentine’s Day, in the expectation that he will immediately become horny, rush off to purchase some erotic underwear for me, and then come back so I can put it on and then we can have sex. The ideal time to initiate this process? When our college-age daughter is standing inches away from us. She’ll be impressed!”

Dustin, 2/15/26

The thing about Dustin’s mom is that she exists in a reality where the comic strip Dustin is not in the newspaper. Unlike her, we unfortunately will read through the day’s news, feeling terror, anger, jealousy, and encroaching old age in turn, only to get to the comics section, encounter Dustin, and feel mingled contempt and disgust.

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Six Chix, 2/14/26

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Are you experiencing romantic love? I hope so, because if you aren’t, aliens are going to vaporize you, just straight-up transform you into a pile of smoldering ash with an energy weapon of unimaginable power.

Family Circus, 2/14/26

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child, and I found the Family Circus kids annoying. When I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways, and realized that the Family Circus kids are supposed to be annoying and that’s like 90% of the joke of every panel. I really like Ma Keane’s facial expression in this one: “Oh, you’re putting it … uh … there? Where we can all step on it? And you’re definitely going to have a meltdown if I try to move it? Huh. Great. Happy Valentine’s Day to me.”

Pluggers, 2/14/26

Look, Chicken-Lady, your husband has always had a sexual fantasy about doing it with a mime, and he wants your help fulfilling it, and if you can’t see that, you’ve got more problems than failing eyesight.

Pickles, 2/14/26

Hey, were you wondering what the Pickles family was up to? Well, the Pickles daughter is worried about her parents, and she should be. They got disoriented and ran their car off the road. They should not be driving! They’re a danger to themselves and others!

Marvin, 2/14/26

Ha ha, it’s funny because as an infant Marvin was left unsupervised by his parents and ate dog food!