Hu's on First? New York!?

[gnome de blog]

Pitchers and catchers report today. Spring is in sight. Well, at least in Florida and Arizona. There has been much shuffling of the Comix Cadre since last we visited, not to mention that the old thread fell off the grid.

Former Luann heart-throb Aaron Hill remains the leader of the pack, in fact being the only Comix guy with a solid major league future.

Chin-Lung Hu, who never did make it to First for the Dodgers, was traded to the Mets in the off-season. Sadly, his prospects for taking his rightful place on the field are no better - although he is on the Mets' 40-man roster...

...which is more than we can say for Boof "Foob Spelled Backwards" Bonser, back in action after a year and a half on the Disabled List. Actually, Foob, er, Boof snuck off to Oakland when I wasn't looking, and put in some time on the farm team before surfacing for a few mediocre outings late in the season. He's now with the Mets, albeit with a minor-league contract. His prospects are about as dim as Elly's wit.

Our personal Joe Schlabotnik, Merkin "With a Name Like Merkin, Who Needs a Nickname?" Valdez continues to hang on to his career by his fingernails. Released by Toronto, he signed a minor-league deal with the LA Dodgers. Oh, well. It's probably appropriate that Merkin should toil in the bush leagues...

In actual baseball news, Mr. Jose Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals have been unable to agree on a contract extension. If a deal isn't struck by noon Wednesday, Albert has declared his intention to enter the free-agent market. There may be sad days ahead in St. Louis and western Maryland. Perhaps the judicious application of the Evil Eye might move matters along (hint, hint...).

[Zorba the Geek]

Yes, I'm biting my nails about Albert, but it's not looking good. He'll go free agent at the end of the season then, and no doubt the Yankees or another obscenely wealthy team will grab him. And I'm a little annoyed at Pujols, because he's 31 and he wants a ten-year contract. He's extremely good, but who knows how good he'll be in his late thirties-early forties? At any rate, I'm not applying any evil eye here, because I don't want to hurt the Cards, or Pujols while he's still with the Cards. When/if he leaves St. Louis, however, then he'll be dead to me, and the evil eye will be called for. ;-)
Edit: In particular if he goes to another National League team, especially a team in the same division as the Cards. In that case, both Albert and that team will feel the full force of the evil eye.

[gnome de blog]

In particular if he goes to another National League team, especially a team in the same division as the Cards. In that case, both Albert and that team will feel the full force of the evil eye.

We won't stoop to naming names here, but one division rival we know of is so mired in their own ineptitude that, should they sign Albert they will drag him down into the 102-year-old pit of their own mediocrity and frustration. The Evil Eye may not be necessary.

[Zorba the Geek]

We won't stoop to naming names here, but one division rival we know of is so mired in their own ineptitude that, should they sign Albert they will drag him down into the 102-year-old pit of their own mediocrity and frustration. The Evil Eye may not be necessary.

I don't think Albert would go there, anyway- he and his agent both must realize that it would be a dead-end for him.

Update: Well, no agreement was reached by the deadline. This doesn't mean that Albert won't sign with the Cards again at the end of the season, but we'll just have to wait and see. He claims that he won't negotiate during the season, because he doesn't want it to be a distraction. (OTOH, I cannot believe that, if St. Louis comes waving a contract at Pujols in a few months, containing everything he wants in the way of money and length of contract, Albert will say "Oh, no, I said no negotiating during the season." He'd sign.)

[gnome de blog]

Hey sports fans, it's Opening Day! All is right with the world.

Except that in order to placate the Lords of Televsion Major League Baseball has once again thrown tradtion under the bus and chosen to inaugurate the season in Yankee Stadium instead of Washington (First in War, First in Peace, and last in the National League East).

Nevertheless, it's Opening Day.

[gnome de blog]

As the season opens, a quick swing around the leagues reminds us that 2010 was a tough year for the comics cadre. 2011 has brought some changes, but no real upswing in the fortunes of our little group.

Former Luann heartthrob Aaron Hill continues to lead the comickers. The Toronto Blue Jays second baseman is hoping to a return to form after an injury-plagued 2010. He appears in fine form as the season begins.

Former Dodger utility man Chin-lung Hu still can't make it to first base, but at least he's on the Opening Day roster of his new club, the New York Mets.

Perennial favorite Merkin "With a Name Like Merkin, Who Needs a Nickname" Valdez seems to be permanently relegated to the "bush" leagues, having signed a minor league contract with the Albuquerque Isotopes of the Pacific Coast League.

Sadly, Merkin has no chance to appear again on the (Portland) Beavers mound. The Beavers were unceremoniously un-housed by the city fathers to make room for quasi-major league soccer, and have resurfaced as the Tucson Padres. The whereabouts of former mascot and Lost Forest refugee Lucky Beaver is unknown at this time.

The jig us up for ex-Twin, ex- Red Sock, ex-Oakland A Boof "Foob Spelled Backwards" Bonser. After two seasons collecting a major league salary while on the disabled list Boof was unable to pitch his way onto the New York Mets roster and opens the season a minor leaguer at last. Take that, Michael Patterson. Maybe Boof would have better luck in Toronto.

[gnome de blog]

New York Mets utility infielder Chin-lung Hu made his national television debut last night, pinch-hitting against the Phillies on ESPN. Alas, he did not make it to first base. Hu's been on first only once this season, in 13 at-bats. Including 8 strikeouts. Not impressive.

In other news, former Luann heartthrob Aaron Hill is on the disabled list with a strained hamstring. Boof "Foob Spelled Backwards" Bonser and Merkin Valdez continue to toil in the bush leagues.

[gnome de blog]

It's the All-Star break and time for a mid-season update for both (if I'm lucky) of the followers of this thread.

Former Luann heartthrob Aaron Hill continues to lead the comickers, being the only one still in the major leages. Sadly, he continues to battle injuries and checks in with a paltry .234 batting average and 4 home runs. All we can say about that is: 1) it's better than last year, and 2) it's better than Weenie World too.

Chin-lung Hu never made it to first with the Mets, and was sent outright to Buffalo, joining Boof "Foob Spelled Backwards" Bonser and Merkin "With an Name LIke Merkin, Who Needs a Nickname?" Valdez as career bush leaguers.

Still no word on the whereabouts of former Portland Beavers mascot Lucky Beaver.

The good news is that the formerly hapless Pittsburgh Pirates have their first winning record at the break in over a decade, and are actually contending for a division title, although we have every confidence that the mighty St. Louis Cardinals will prevail in the end. But we are pleased that (Comics Curmudgeon) Cardinal Adam-12 has a real team to root for after a long dry spell.

The redoubtable Philadelphia Phillies, home team of the late, great J.Po continue to cruise ahead of the pack with the best record in baseball. The danger here is that in the modern game the best team seldom wins.

[gnome de blog]

This just in (well, a couple of days ago): The Arizona Snakes acquired former Luann heartthrob Aaron Hill from the Toronto Blue Jays in a waiver deal. Hill is well on his way to accomplishing a stunning feat; being the worst second baseman in the American League and the worst second bas4eman in the National League in the same season!

Congrats Aaron! It beats the bush leagues. Beats having to work for a living too.

[queek]

The Detroit Tigers reported today that they had not been interested in free agent infielder Aaron Hill.


Thank

bloody

GODDESS!!!

[gnome de blog]

Belated congrats to the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals!

As for Luis, er, Albert Pujols, he's dead to us. An Angel. A Disneyland fucking Angel. To tell you the truth, I think he made up his mind to leave St. Louis a long time ago and the Cardinals held the door open for him. I don't think there's much love lost on either side in spite of the obligatory comments to the contrary in the press.

Zorba, Nick, any thoughts?

As for Aaron "Heartthrob" Hill, looks like he's a Snake for life.

[Zorba the Geek]

Belated congrats to the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals!

As for Luis, er, Albert Pujols, he's dead to us. An Angel. A Disneyland fucking Angel. To tell you the truth, I think he made up his mind to leave St. Louis a long time ago and the Cardinals held the door open for him. I don't think there's much love lost on either side in spite of the obligatory comments to the contrary in the press.

Zorba, Nick, any thoughts?

As for Aaron "Heartthrob" Hill, looks like he's a Snake for life.

Meh. Albert is indeed now dead to us, too. One of my other brothers had this to say about Pujols leaving: "Multimillionaire accepts more multi-millions of dollars from multibillionaires to work for them instead of some other multibillionaires. Many hundredaires and thousandaires upset."

That's about the feeling.

[gnome de blog]

When/if he [Albert Pujols] leaves St. Louis, however, then he'll be dead to me, and the evil eye will be called for. ;-)

At least he's way off in the bogs of Orange County. The Evil Eye may not be necessary. Aside from their fluke World Series win a decade ago the Disneylanders have a strong track record of paying a lot of money for mediocre results. They're almost the Chicago Cubs of the west coast.

Albert's run as in St. Louis has ensured that he will eventually sport a Cardinal hat in the Hall of Fame, but from here it looks like he's on the long slide to mediocrity. Even last year it seemed he was chasing bad pitches like he never had before. That his strikeouts were up and his walks down bears this out. He seems to have foresworn the patience that is the hallmark of great hitters. St. Louis fans may well be relieved that they don't have to endure something resembling the back half of Alex Rodriguez' contract.

[gnome de blog]

Pitchers and catchers reported yesterday. Life is good.

[gnome de blog]

The 2012 season is underway at last, although with a much thinned-out comix cadre to enliven the proceedings. Favorites Boof "Foob Spelled Backwards" Bonser and Merkin "With a Name Like Merkin, Who Needs a Nickname?" Valdez have been relegated to the Bush leagues by the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland A's, respectively. Chin-lung Hu is not only not on first for the Cleveland Indians, he's not on first somewhere in their minor league system.

Erstwhile Luann heartthrob Aaron Hill signed a long-term contract with the Arizona Snakes (which seems appropriate), so we expect to hear from him in the future, barring injury, which seems to be a particular bugaboo of his.

In view of the depleted ranks, we have added San Diego third baseman Chase Headley to our stable. We believe Chase is first cousin to former Rex Morgan, MD thug Knox Headley. Chase is batting a lusty .077 so far, which approximates cousin Knox' effectiveness in going up against Pus Boy's Dad and his Montana plank steak.

One further note: former St. Louis Cardinal stalwart Luis, er, Albert "Dead to Us" Pujols is off to a slow start with his new team, the Los Angeles California Anaheim Los Angeles Angels of Disneyland. We presume Luis, er, Albert will carefully avoid venturing into the mid-Atlantic region, where he may suffer the effect of the Evil Eye, assuming he has not done so already. Be careful, Albert!

Cheers to all, and we look forward to an outstanding season!